Repress Yourself

Tired of paying hundreds of dollars in therapy? Fed up with prescription pill addictions and office furniture couch-sores? Has your psychologist stopped seeing you since you made a pass at him? Or maybe you're an amateur analyst and are looking for a chance to gain experience as an advice columnist. Bloggers: substitute these posts for therapy sessions and readers: comment away.

16 May 2005

Road House

When I was a kid I had never seen Road House, but this other kid at my school saw it and said, "man, there's a lot of pussy in that movie."

So whenever anybody brought it up, I pretended to have seen it and just said, "there's a lot of pussy in that movie."

13 May 2005

Hating the world

Sometimes when people are really super nice to me, I am totally annoyed and avoid them at all costs. I don't have anything against them, I just don't have anything for them. I'd rather not ever see them again then endure their polite chit chat.

I'm finding I'm not always generous or kind or honest.

09 May 2005

My Boss Rules

I love my boss. She's so cool. Here are the kind of conversations we have:

ME: Linda, I have asked you 4 times to approve this letter. It's late and you yelled at me before for making it late but yo'ure making it late.

LINDA: I never saw this letter. Ever. In a million years.

ME: Well I sent it to you. Four times.

LINDA: THIs is ridiculous. HOw did this happen? I never got---oh wait. Here it is.


LINDA: ...

ME: ....

LINDA: ....

ME: Okay, talk to you later. Thanks.

05 May 2005

otherwise all is well

Ok, I'm warmed up now. Let's see....I drink too much, my job is dumb, and I sabotage all my relationships. Oh yeah, and I share my personal problems with total strangers. Yay! I fucking LOVE the internet.

Woe is Me

Warning: this is a writey post.

I forced myself to be content for the last few months with what I have going on. Okay, I didn't exactly 'force' myself. I just figured that with school, the various blogs, the freelancing and so on, I could calm down.

But a few new things have come up, i.e. submitting stuff and reporting stuff wise. On the one hand, I'm excited about the new possibilities. On the other hand, I don't feel like setting myself up for rejection once again and I worry that I don't have time for any of this.

Also, I have a headache.

So that's that.

04 May 2005

I am easily amused.

I just read on the internet that there is a movie that stars both Michael Pitt and Jeremy Sisto and then I looked down to find I had grown a gigantic erect penis.

I came all over my "laptop."

02 May 2005


I live with six other people, so our house can quickly fill with stuff, and our refrigerators and cabinets especially require constant vigilance. My constant vigilance.

crazy lady combining syrupsWhile I am obsessed with moving things out the door, no one else seems particularly concerned with the flow of things into and out of the kitchen. It doesn't seem to bother my roommates if an empty cereal box sits on a shelf, taking up space. Or if there are six jars in the fridge with a half inch of salsa in each.

Luckily, I love throwing things away! In fact, I cannot stop throwing things away. Lately I've caught myself finishing someone's orange juice or mayonnaise or bread, just for the pleasure of subtracting one container from the premises. I also like to combine things, as I did this afternoon, when I made two pancake syrups into one. Sometimes I'll throw something away just because it's bothering me. Like a stray salad dressing that's overstayed its welcome.

I work in secret, because my roommates might not understand or appreciate my methods. But, I've come to think of myself as the Good Trash Fairy, performing necessary maintenance for the greater good.