Repress Yourself

Tired of paying hundreds of dollars in therapy? Fed up with prescription pill addictions and office furniture couch-sores? Has your psychologist stopped seeing you since you made a pass at him? Or maybe you're an amateur analyst and are looking for a chance to gain experience as an advice columnist. Bloggers: substitute these posts for therapy sessions and readers: comment away.

08 December 2005

My First Entry

I'm going to tell you people something about what's it's like to live in this city. To do so, I will use the underrated form of stage known as the One-Act Play. I proudly present:

"Underground Blues"
A play in one-act
By Geoff Wolinetz

Curtain rises. We see GEOFF, a jaunty, affable, strapping young man of 29, sitting in a subway car. He's listening to an iPod and reading the New York Daily News, a newspaper. Sitting opposite him is DISGUSTING WOMAN. She's a professional lady dressed for an office job that apparently doesn't afford her time to take care of her minor grooming habits at home. She has a nail clipper in one hand and is working assiduously on the nails of the other hand.

As she clips away, a renegade nail escapes the clipper and flies across the car into GEOFF's lap. He looks down into his lap for a few seconds, before realizing what has occurred. GEOFF picks the nail up off of his lap and gags.

He glances up at DISGUSTING WOMAN, who continues to cut her nails.


GEOFF

I believe this is yours (throws nail at DISGUSTING WOMAN, hitting her in the forehead)


GEOFF continues to read the paper

FIN

07 December 2005

Story by Sophocles; Screenplay by Freud

Last week I had a dream that I was married to my Mom. Then last night I dreamt my Dad died.

My dream-writers are such fucking hacks.