Repress Yourself

Tired of paying hundreds of dollars in therapy? Fed up with prescription pill addictions and office furniture couch-sores? Has your psychologist stopped seeing you since you made a pass at him? Or maybe you're an amateur analyst and are looking for a chance to gain experience as an advice columnist. Bloggers: substitute these posts for therapy sessions and readers: comment away.

02 April 2007

Bible Belt - Tighter Than Ever

When I lived in NYC I encountered so few conservatives, I forgot what it was like to discuss things with them in the workplace. Now that I'm in Texas, I am reminded, and it's kind of frustrating to be in the liberal-minded minority. A co-worker and I sort of got into it during a meeting today. We typically get along and I respect his right to a difference in opinions. Plus I realize that the office is really not the place to go head to head, but I wanted to so badly it hurt.

We work for a client who markets to the GBLT community (I realize that technically its GLBT, but I enjoy thinking of it as Gay Bacon Lettuce and Tomato). And while discussing this client, my co-worker relayed a story about how some people from his church booked a family vacation to Disneyland and have since found out that their vacation will take place during "gay week" at Disneyland. And apparently the mom sobbed herself silly for like 48 hours straight (NPI) when she heard the news. And he sympathized with that reaction. And I just thought, "Why?"

I mean, first of all, that's seriously a ridiculous overreaction. Its not like that means Goofy and Pluto are going to be wearing leather assless chaps and simulating fellatio on a pirate ship. For the most part, it'll mean same sex parents will be trotting around with their adopted children and the lines will be shorter.

But my co-worker's defense was, "It is HARD to explain to your 6-year-old when two dudes are going at it in front of you."

Is it? I mean, seriously, is it that hard? It may have been hard to explain in 1807, but now? I think you've had plenty of time to come up with a reasonable explanation. I mean, if you can't come up with an something to satisfy a 6-year-old, with all of the wonders of Disneyland to distract him, you really don't have any right being a parent. I can think of at least three explanations off the top of my head that even the conservatiest of conservatives could use:
  • Those boys are silly!
  • "Some grownups like to do that."
  • "Hey look over there!"

  • And that's where I REALLY have trouble relating to conservatives - when they use "the children" to make their case. Children have questions - its your job to answer them. You can't control every single situation in the world in order to avoid discussing things with your kids. And most of the time, your kids care so very little about the things you love to blow out of proportion.

    I dated a guy in college who once was asked by another patron to leave a Chili's for wearing a Big Black tshirt that said "songs about fucking" and had a picture of an arrow penetrating a circle. This guy made a huge scene about how he brought his family to that restaurant and how my friend was going to have to leave. When he didn't, the guy tried to get the mnager to make him leave, and eventually stormed off with his family in tow. Ironically, his kids never would have noticed the shirt if their Dad hadn't made a big scene about it.

    Its not my job to change your mind about shit, or to tell you how to raise your kids. Just like its not your job to tell gay people when they can and can't feel each other up on the Teacup ride. If you want your kid to never see or interact with gay people, then you should never let them outside, and especially avoid television, books, radio, Boy Scouts, summer camp, and church.


    At 2:50 PM, Anonymous Anila DJ said...

    Haha.. absolutely brilliant!! Good one! :)


    Post a Comment

    << Home