Repress Yourself

Tired of paying hundreds of dollars in therapy? Fed up with prescription pill addictions and office furniture couch-sores? Has your psychologist stopped seeing you since you made a pass at him? Or maybe you're an amateur analyst and are looking for a chance to gain experience as an advice columnist. Bloggers: substitute these posts for therapy sessions and readers: comment away.

27 October 2005

What The Hell Was I Thinking?

You ever have those crazy moments where for a split second you think the most ridiculous thought ever, and then immediately realize you are retarded and should probably crawl back into bed?

For example: you see someone walking up the street from some distance away and think to yourself, "Hey, that looks like [friend]." So you study the person as they walk closer and suddenly realize that while your friend is a tall, balding skinny 30-year-old white guy, the person approaching you is a 65-year-old Asian man with a hunchback.

You know what I mean? Like there is no alternate universe that exists in which there lies the remotest possibility that this person in any way resembles the person you thought it was, only moments ago. No matter how many times Bakula Quantam Leaps his way through a rip in the space-time continuum, this is an outcome which is less probable than my ability to name a single Oak Ridge Boy. Unpossible.

Like today, I am running around on zero sleep and having moments of bewildering insanity. The frustrating kind. The kind that makes you spend 10 minutes looking for your glasses until you realize you are already wearing them.

Here's what I did today.
I am leaning against my car, having a smoke. I look down the street to the area where I usually park. I see a car, not much like my own in shape or style, but vaguely resembling mine in color. A woman is looking into the window of that car. A look of concern clouds my face, and I think to myself, "Hey! What's that bitch doing nosing around my car?!" Then a second passes and I realize, "Oh, that's not my car. That doesn't even look like my car. That is probably HER car. And oh yeah, I'm currently leaning against my own car." Remember? From the beginning of the paragraph?


My point is: I am really tired.


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