Asleep Me is Even More Crazy

Last night I had a dream that I was rescuing dogs from the ocean. 24 dogs, in all. They were having trouble swimming, which is retarded because most dogs are stronger swimmers than me. But whatever, it was a good dream. I had lots of dogs and I lived by the beach.

Then later in the dream I was driving home and saw a guy with a big sign on the side of the road. The sign said "THINGS TO DO: 77 CENTS" (only he used the cents symbol). The guy was a real person in real life who I've never met before, so it's weird that he was in my dream. Regardless, I thought it was the best sign in the whole world, and applauded his efforts, from concept to execution.

Things to do: 77 Cents. That's fucking brilliant.

From now on, if you give me 77 cents, I will give you something to do. It'll be my new company. And when I make my fortune, 77-cents-at-a-time, and I go on some talk show for an interview, I'll tell Matt Lauer, "It was just this idea I dreamed up one night." And then I will throw my drink in Matt Lauer's face.

I'm not a big fan, Lauer.