Repress Yourself

Tired of paying hundreds of dollars in therapy? Fed up with prescription pill addictions and office furniture couch-sores? Has your psychologist stopped seeing you since you made a pass at him? Or maybe you're an amateur analyst and are looking for a chance to gain experience as an advice columnist. Bloggers: substitute these posts for therapy sessions and readers: comment away.

15 April 2005


Here are some questions I have.

The radio playing in my office is a little perplexing... WHY would an "oldies" radio station (and by "oldies" I mean 70s and 80s, not 50's and 60s) play the same songs every day? I'm assuming that in Top 40 radio there are all kinds of deals between record labels and radio stations limiting the number of songs you hear on any given afternoon to about 12. Fine. However, when you are no longer in the competitive world of billboard 100/ratings radio - when you are free to play whatever songs were hits twenty and thirty years ago, then why would you insist on playing the same three Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam songs every motherf*cking day?!! Lisa Lisa didnt get that much play in 1985 when those songs were in the top 10. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Then it's "Looking For a New Love" then "Caribbean Queen" then "Funkytown" and finally "Let's Hear it For the Boy." And WHY am I the only person in my office that is driven nuts by this? Everyone else is singing along off key while I pray for my iPod batteries to hold up just a little longer.

2. WHY won't you fucking buy a roll of toilet paper? We ran out in my apartment on Tuesday. Which means we were running low since last weekend. And yet nobody will buy toilet paper. There are three of us in the apartment. I have bought the last 100+ rolls of toilet paper for our apartment (because I get this awesome designer brand) and I have ordered some more which will be in next week. But my roommates don't know that. They know I have been supplying the toilet paper all year, and that we're out now. And neither one of them has bought a roll in the past three days. WHAT ARE THEY USING?!! For shit's sake, we have a 24-hour deli right next door to us - we're on the first floor, even. It only takes half a second to go pick up a SINGLE ROLL. I'm not suggesting they buy a four-pack, even. Just a single roll. What the hell is wrong with them, and how the hell are they wiping? I have a half-roll that I 've been hiding in my room to tide me over. It's like Survivor, or some shit.

3. WHAT will I have for lunch? What about dinner? I never know. Never! I have a box of frozen strawberry waffles, so that should get me through the next 8 breakfasts. After that, I'm totally screwed.


At 11:39 AM, Anonymous mr. tabby said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 11:41 AM, Anonymous mr. tabby said...

my ipod deleted all my songs. i think it did it on purpose, because i am always talking shit about it. i'm always like, ipods are pieces of shit. then my ipod was like, uh, i'm going to delete all your songs... and then it did.


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