Repress Yourself

Tired of paying hundreds of dollars in therapy? Fed up with prescription pill addictions and office furniture couch-sores? Has your psychologist stopped seeing you since you made a pass at him? Or maybe you're an amateur analyst and are looking for a chance to gain experience as an advice columnist. Bloggers: substitute these posts for therapy sessions and readers: comment away.

28 March 2005

I'm certain I will die lonely and alone, but I haven't decided why yet

I can't decide if I'm more of a terrible person or a terrible writer.

I wonder about these things all the time. I know that sooner or later, everybody will hate me, but I don't know why yet. It will either be because I fail to live up to personal obligations, ignore other people's feelings, don't call my mother enough and talk endlessly about my own problems, or because my characters are not fleshed out enough, my sentences are too self-consciously clever and my writing style is obviously plagiarized from other, better writers.

I'm certain that some people already hate me for one reason and others hate me for the other, but what I'm really interested in is on which side of the fence popular opinion will land.

I think I'd prefer to be remembered as a bad person than as a bad writer. If I lost all my friends and my family stopped inviting me over for holidays and I spent the rest of my days lonely, eating Chinese food by myself in my bedroom, at least then I'd have more time to write.


At 1:06 PM, Blogger kittenpants said...

I like to remember Hitler as a bad person, but a decent art student; Michael Hutchence had great stage presence, but was a clumsy masturbator. If you want, I can release a statement after your die... something like, "the late Dennis DiClaudio was the world's happiest breast implant enthusiast."

At 7:35 PM, Blogger Claire said...

1-If you're remembered as a bad writer, at least you'll be remembered as a writer, right?

2-You are not a bad writer.

3-I constantly worry about people hating me. In fact, I care so much that I even care when people I hate hate me. It's the writing thing, I think, partially: people must like me! And also, you're a busy person and by trade have to be a people pleaser. You worry that you might be doing something wrong. You're not, though.

Just remember what Li'l Kim said: "You want to be this queen bee, but you can't be, and that's why you're mad at me."

At 8:59 AM, Blogger dog food sugar said...

All the best writers, artists, and pop music stars have people that hate them as well as love them. Unwarranted public hate is a good sign of your success.

And hey I'm going to "barrow" that line about the plagiarized writing style because that's funny.

At 3:45 PM, Blogger Matthew said...

I'll always remember you as a bad Chinese food eater. Watching you use chopsticks is like watching a legless dog try to hump a tree.

Just kidding, Dennis. I'll remember you as a bad writer.


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