Repress Yourself

Tired of paying hundreds of dollars in therapy? Fed up with prescription pill addictions and office furniture couch-sores? Has your psychologist stopped seeing you since you made a pass at him? Or maybe you're an amateur analyst and are looking for a chance to gain experience as an advice columnist. Bloggers: substitute these posts for therapy sessions and readers: comment away.

25 March 2005

A terrifying dream

I had the most fucked up nightmare last night - the kind of dream I can't even tell you about, because there's no explaining it away. There's no, "Oh, everyone has dreams like that - it doesn't mean anything..." because nobody does. It was seriously fucked up. It's the kind of thing that would change your opinion about me, forever--make you think twice before inviting me over to meet your kids, or your grandparents.

The awesome part is, that after I sort of woke up and had a moment to let it all sink in, I fell back asleep and had another nightmare about trying to explain the first dream to people I know. In this new dream I apparently hung out with Charles Barkley, and before I could even finish describing the first dream scenario, he punched me in the face!!!

Charles Barkley punched me in the face. That sounds made up, but it actually happened (in my dream).
He was so disgusted at my other dream, he clocked me. Meanwhile, I don't even know what he's doing there. Maybe dreaming of Charles represents the anger I feel about basketball being on TV all the time. I'm not sure. But I know a hilarious face-punch when I dream one.

4 Comments:

At 11:25 AM, Blogger Matthew said...

It's obvious that you want to fuck your mom.

 
At 11:05 AM, Blogger Tom Sizemore said...

I know what you're going through; Once, during a dream, Yao Ming kicked me in the balls.

 
At 1:03 PM, Anonymous mr. tabby said...

i am in love with this website. can i please become a member? i sincerely want to join this website. please, let me join. i wrote a short story once where the character says 'fuck charles barkley' in a fit of insomnia. please.

 
At 1:05 PM, Anonymous mr. tabby said...

i drank a fucking huge thing of coffee so i can work on my writing but i love this website more. one time i shoved a caffeine pill up my nose. one time i lay on the floor of this girl i liked and refused to leave her room. i was like, i'm going to kill myself if you kick me out.

 

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