Repress Yourself

Tired of paying hundreds of dollars in therapy? Fed up with prescription pill addictions and office furniture couch-sores? Has your psychologist stopped seeing you since you made a pass at him? Or maybe you're an amateur analyst and are looking for a chance to gain experience as an advice columnist. Bloggers: substitute these posts for therapy sessions and readers: comment away.

18 April 2005

Update - I Win!!

My roommate finally bought toilet paper on Sunday. We went almost a whole week. My other roommate avoided the situation altogether by leaving town for four days. I managed to make my secret roll last until sweet victory came Sunday morning in the form of six fresh rolls in the bathroom cupboard.

It's the little victories that count the most. I remain broken and unloved, but totally comforted on the backside.

4 Comments:

At 9:51 PM, Anonymous an ant said...

one time our anthill ran out of toilet paper and the queen ant threw a hissyfit and started eating other ants. it was such a hissyfit. i swear, if anyone i know ever throws a hissyfit like that again, i'll throw a mote of sand at their face so hard that it'll be like a grand piano was a fist that kept punching them in the face repeatedly.

 
At 9:58 PM, Anonymous a cow said...

one time i ran really fast and headbutted an antelope. the antelope was dazed. i turned around and wiped my ass on the antelope. then i ran away really fast, to give the illusion that the antelope dreamed the entire thing.

 
At 10:02 PM, Anonymous a tyranasaurus rex said...

one time i invented a really long stick. it was eighteen sticks tied together. i used it to wipe my ass. then i saw a wooden shack and i went there and crushed that with my head and inside was a lawyer and i ate the lawyer.

 
At 11:07 PM, Anonymous Jerri Blank said...

I wipe with the guest towels when I'm in a hurry.

 

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